Flying Purple Hippos Wiki
Register
Advertisement
Age of Empires Online
Controversy
Aoeooeoaeoaeoaeaeoaeaeoaoaeoaeoaeoaeoaeoaeoa
Developer: Robot Entertainment
Publisher: Microsoft
Release date: 16 August 2011
Platforms: PC
Genres: Real-time Strategy
Modes: Single player, multiplayer

Age of Empires Online is the newest Age of series game, being released late 2011. It featured the world's best business model.

Gameplay[]

You start out with a pony and a tc and some food, wood and gold. Sometimes your pony has a chariot, or it may in fact be two dudes wearing wolf pets, but fear not! They can still run around, relieving the map of terrible black darkness. Beware! Your opponent may do the same, and may make buildings which make units which might be sent to kill you! Unless you're playing against Veggie, in which case they might be sent to sit in the middle of the map! You must then order innocent villagers to make farms and gather deermeat and peace elephant meat and gazellemeat and berries and gold from huge bulging surface goldmines in order to craft ponies out of elephant meat and solid gold. You then send out these ponies to kill enemy villagers to prevent your opponent from doing the same! Sometimes you might even have to make boats from a single straggler tree and some solid gold. The game ends when someone runs out of ponies, pony-making equipment and pony supply gatherers, or if someone makes a huge boat on solid ground that is so blindingly beautiful that the enemy stares at it in admiration for ten full minutes.

Setting[]

Like pre-Roman empire shit with babylonians fighting persians in scandinavia. The game features six civs which were chosen based on whatever was popular in AoM and AoK and AoE1. The historical accuracy is also blindingly beautiful.

Civ Description
Greeks Exactly like in AoM, featuring expensive but pop-efficient units. Hippikons are now age 4 powerhouses though and they have those spear-throwing cav units from TT~
Eggies AoM-like, featuring cheap rax units and more expensive age 3 units. Advances to new ages by building temples. There are war elephants. Also priests empower buildings bros
Celts Offensively minded civ with cheap infantry meant to swarm the enemy. Priests can sacrifice animals for magical boosts and the very presence of druids with antlers on their head makes slingers sling harder.
Persians Rather balanced civ with toggle techs and infantry units which can't decide whether to use bows or swords. Also awesome cav and cataphracts. BUT NO WAR ELEPHANTS BECAUSE THE EGGIES SNYPED THEM :acertainkindofanger:
Babylonians Civ for boomin'. Can build gardens which decrease train and research time. Have ox carts instead of storehouses. Wonder is the Hanging Gardens which always makes you want to play Civ a bit
Norse AoM-like. Infantry build buildings and raiding ponies murder villagers. Also throwing axemen throw axes and there are irl war dogs~

The civs are pretty different but they all have rax in age 1 and spearmen. Spearmen rushes are not as pro as villie rushes though. Also you can build one TC every age which makes age 2 kind of a "OHGOD DO I ATTACK OR GO FOR A FAST TC" panic in which you always always guess wrong.

Controversy[]

NONE WHATSOEVER. EVERYONE AGREES UNANYMOUSLY ON WHETHER THIS GAME IS THE BEST OR THE WORST.

See also[]

  • League of Anti-AoEO Moms
  • Union of Moms for AoEO
Advertisement