Flying Purple Hippos Wiki

Right the fuck there

Bouvet Island, also Bouvetøya or Bouvetoya because only Norwegians know how to make that silly o, is an island in bumfuck nowhere. Mike called dibs on it in 2005[1] and ever since then it's considered the physical manifestation of the FPH Island on Earth.

So yeah[]

Looks legit

Bouvetoya is the most isolated island in the world, like 1700 kilometres away from the next piece of land. Its dimensions are like 10 by 5 kilometres, but its highest peak is still a good 450 metres higher than anything in The Netherlands.

It is claimed by Norway, and this is why we're at war with Norway. They use it for nothing in particular, and, even worse, they won't let anyone use the .bv suffix.

Proposed Invasion[]

The Island was claimed as a location for FPH Isle on our good planet Earth in 2005. An elaborate attack plan was crafted.

The invasion will commence tomorrow at dawn. I want piggly and Smurf to be the first of the landing craft. If there is heavy gunfire, lay down. You've been re-assigned to meatshield. After Smurf and piggly are ashore, the infantry division is to go ashore. User the terrain and the bullet-riddled carcasses of Smurf and piggly as cover. I want Shusky on sniping duty. His job is to take out the sentries and the guys in the machine gun nests. If Shusky is down, commence plan B. Plan B will be running blindly at the enemy, using Smurf and piggly as shields. Once the enemy is no longer present, the Norwegian flag is to be taken down, and the flag of the Transitionary FPH Protectorate State of Bouvetoya put up. The flag should be up by 1200 hours. Once the flag is up, you are free to partake in a spot of afternoon tea. Below is a detailed map with pretty AoE3 water put in place of ugly blue. You all know what the various symbols represent, so get to it!
—Lief Ericson, [1]

Everyone necessary for this project immediately volunteered. As of 2012, the attack still hasn't happened and this is very sad.


Okay so I guess I have to put Lief's glorious map here, but it's kind of lost. Pretend it's there or find it and click the button for fucksake