Diamond Mountain of Fuck

This aricle is about the modern day forum. For the fake forum that was made to troll Raider, see Raider.

It's a great place to ski in the winter but you can really scratch your skis on the shards

The Diamond Mountain of Fuck (née The Staff Forum, Old Hippopotamian: The Scary Castle of All Evil) is the most expensive mountain of the FPH Isle. It is the residency of the most wealthy and powerful Templars and the location of Flaming Husky Ltd. Headquarters as well as the Ministries of Dugongs, Cookies, Jews, and Excessive Luxuries.

History

See also: Mod Forum
Founded early on as the Staff forum, commonly known as the Mod Forum, there was no mention of any of the characteristics of the Diamond Mountain until much later, when the Scary Castle of All Evil was found to be the main location of all things hippopotamian and exclusive. Apparently overnight, a whole bunch of slaves built a diamond mountain around it and changed the castle to a holiday resort for people with at least 57 bodyguards. Attempts by n00dist factions to open it up for general viewing led to short-lived breakdowns of the social hierarchy, none of which lasted longer for a few months.

Arts

The "DMoF" is a sprawling centre of the arts for those who can afford to walk on the tollways that lead across it. Most famous are the Pheasant Exhibition, the Bodyguard Auction House and Restaurant Ortolania. Lucky visitors may run into one of the many ad-hoc Upload Threads during spring, summer, autumn or winter.

Commerce and Culture

Unlike the rest of the Clan, the DMoF operates under a strictly plutocratic caste system. Access for non-slaves is only granted to those with an Amethyst Snobbery Card with various and ever-changing minimum demands on its price, just to keep the rabble out. Rumours that Steve Jobs was killed to use his blood for signing it are completely unfounded and any suggestion of this is treason.

Those lucky enough to enter will usually find themselves in a position to purchase large amounts of slaves, cognac and secret societies. Apart from the blossoming internal trade in these objects, there is an active trade with the outside world in the many fruits grown on local heineken plants.

References

The FPH Forums
Current Events	Purple News Network • The Cataphractery • Secret Templar Tea Party
Heritage Stuff	Myths • Archives (Tower of Insanity • Umlaut Mines • Design Forum)
Discussions	Off-Topic Discussions • Serious Discussions • Sporty Threads for Sporty Templars
Secret	Terrordome 3000 (Diamond Mountain of Fuck • Flusspferdschanze)