Flying Purple Hippos Wiki

It's his real hair

Flying Purple Law is the legal system of the FPH Island and all dependent territories of the FPH Clan. All Templars totes have to obey it or else.


Main article: List of ignored constitutions

As the FPH Clan is an uncompromising theocracy, the origins of Flying Purple Law can be traced back to the divine law of the Golden Hippo, as recorded in holy scriptures such as the Book of Penguins.

Because divine hippo law is occasionally a mysterious and enigmatic collection of guttural sounds and biting people on the head, Founding Father Martin also codified the first constitution of the Clan, on the basis of which all trials would be judged. Its famous formulation of all Templars being equal and then detailing how this is not the case was highly influential and repeated in any subsequent self-respecting constitution.


Everything used to be in the constitution, until we lost track of our constitutions somewhere late in the first decade of the 21st century. Because of that, there's literally no framework and everything sort of happens ad hoc.


Common and civil and criminal and whatever law[]

Any and all cases which have the slightest chance of people saying "objection!" are lumped here. Famous private lawyering-up corporations such as Ericson & Monkey and Flaming Husky Ltd. specialise in providing adequate law for these lawyery proceedings. They law the shit out of them by law.

Constitutional law[]

While the constitution has been lost, everyone has a general idea what was contained in there. In the tradition of Karl Pearson, the FPH Constitution is now understood not to be directly observable, but its parameters can be inferred from people bitching about it. This works perfectly well.

Administrative law[]

The Leader and his illustrious administer over the Island and its many dependent territories and fuck you.

Administrative law (2)[]

Meant for adjudication of conflicts regarding Admin CP Access. Suspiciously similar to Classical FPH Law.

International law[]

This governs secessions mostly. The FPH Clan is a rogue state which respects no international treaty except for those signed with North Korea and Leeds. Also it considers the entire world to be its dominion so what's even the point.

Labour law[]


Wartime labour law[]

While labourers do not technically have rights in the FPH Isle, this book of law exists anyway to regulate the continuing war between the Confédération Générale du Lief's Quatorze-Millième Post Travail and the Bureau- and Autocrats Treaty Organisation (BATO).

Family law[]

This regulates the yams and wives trade, and as such is the same as commercial law. It was easier this way.

Law on Terror[]

Sanctions any and all terrorism by MAFR.

Poultry law[]

Poultry law is very carefully codified so that we can avoid such gruesome incidents as the great duck thread invasion of 2013.

Elections law[]

Every six months, don't copy Soggy's rules.

Inter-Ministerial Congress[]

All of the above subjects in law are involved in inter-ministerial conflicts. Most notably, the Ministry of Wor's propensity to invade all other ministries gets into conflict with the Ministry of Abundant Bureaucracy's tendency to incorporate them into itself or into sub-divisions of different wars. At first, an attempt was made to create inter-ministerial law, but this failed horrendously after all lawmakers were brutally murdered by the Ministry of Wor and their existence formally denied by the Ministry of Abundant Bureaucracy. Henceforth, all inter-ministerial conflicts are handled on the Official Inter-Ministerial Congresses through Trial by Combat.