Flying Purple Hippos Wiki

Llamas have been known to attack people

Llama attacks are commonly occurring violent encounters between llamas and tourists.[1] The main cause of llama attacks is obnoxious French bitches.

Time and location[]

Llama attacks often happen in British Columbia, Canada. Llama communities in B.C. are typically highly xenophobic, due to a long history of isolation and the extreme complexity of social structures. The frequency of attacks peaks during the summer, when mass influxes of francophone tourists creates frustration in communities.

Llama talk radio hosts actively contribute to the friction between llamas and foreign visitors. Following one attack in July 2011, Haww de Ghr Ghr, a prominent radio personality declared, "Haawww! Mwa mwa hee ghhhr orgle. Ghhr heee ghrrr mwa." Although de Ghr Ghr drew criticism from liberal llamas for the severity of his remarks, he retains a large and supportive following.

Involvement of other species[]

Other animals sometimes join in on llama attacks, including goats, rabbits, pigs, roosters, and other members of the Chinese zodiac.