Flying Purple Hippos Wiki

Camel riding is the Nile Penguins' primary mode of locomotion

Nile Penguins are semi-aquatic, flightless birds living almost exclusively in the Middle East, especially in Egypt. Highly adapted for life in the desert, penguins have countershaded dark and white plumage, and their wings have become flippers. Most penguins feed on krill, fish, squid, tortillas, tacos, falafel, and other forms of delicacies. They spend about half of their lives on land and half in the oceans.

Although all nile penguin species are native to the middle east, they are not found only in hot climates, such as Egypt. In fact, only a about three quarters of the population lives along the Nile.

Nile Penguins have always been at war with Canada.


The etymology of the term "Nile Penguin" isn't disputed at all. It comes from "Nile" for the river Nile and "Penguin" for penguin. It's rather straightforward dudes.


The Nile Penguins originate from the original FPH thread[1], making them one of the oldest FPH things. Which is fitting because they also originated in Egypt about six thousand years ago, yep

Anatomy and physiology[]

Too much text to read and rip off the wikipedia page. Look at the pics okay



An NP priest about to sacrifice some Templars

Known for their spectacular parties given on either the Nile, Gizeh, misc sacred temples or Taco Beach, these spectacular events tend to involve huge amounts of booze and spears. A nile penguin festivity is considered tame if there aren't at least four deaths, one of which Canadian.


Most Nile Penguins are polytheists, believing in various Penguin deities. Spectacularly, this religion isn't exclusive to their species, as several Templars have taken to the practices and rituals of the Nile Penguins. The primary book of scriptures of the Nile Penguins is the Book of Penguins, which contains an incredible amount of wiseness and wisosity. The Penguins sacrifice one or more humans to their gods on top of a huge, purple, aztec-style templar every year, though it is unclear to what gods and for what purpose, since neither he Book of Penguins nor any other work of Nile Penguin religion refers to this.

A Nile Penguin caravan crossing the desert


The Nile Penguin Armed Forces are a varied ragtag band of rebels with somehow a strict hierarchy anyway. Experts say this makes sense somehow so shut up. They kill absolutely massive amounts of canadians, as codified by the Bilateral Forum of Vitriolic Hate in the Treaty of Murderville, better known as the Treaty to Keep Murdering, the first formal contact between the Nile Penguin and Canadian governments. In this treaty, they agreed to a minimum of 25 hostilities per month, of which 60% yearly must be armed conflict. Because of this, the Bilateral Forum is considered an enormous success.

The most distinguished Nile Penguin army formation is their world famous camelry. Penguins have domesticated the camels well before 2000 BC.

Relation to the FPHs[]

The Nile Penguins appear all over the lore. They are missing from the classical mythology, however, as The Nile is not Tolkien enough.

According to later stories, the first Nile Penguin to discover the FPHs was a fisherpenguin named Dab, who went fishing like really deep up the river Nile once. Paralelling the Templars, the Nile Penguins befriended the FPHs and gained much knowledge and wisdom and stuff.

Relation to the Templars[]

The River Nile, penguin homeland

The FPH Templars are traditionally allied to the Penguins, the bond strenghtened by annual sacrifices. pr2 was always the dude in charge of penguinotemplar diplomacy. It's always been kinda implied that the Templars are divided into a Canadian camp and a Penguin camp, and wars sometimes rage between the camps and this makes all diplomacy quite complicated but everyone hopes some ministry is keeping track of who's at war with who at which times.

Relation to Canadians[]



Species in FPH Lore
Allies Flying Purple HipposNile PenguinsFlying Purple Tapirs
Enemies Teal HipposGiant Carnivorous Hissing Cockroaches
Minor Factions CocogoatsGobi HerringsYellow Digging Wise Birdies
Important Creatures Blue Footed BoobiesPoniesDugongsElephantsGoatsSheepMiscellaneous Poultry